Feeling Drippy

Ugh! Today is a weather day. It has been rainy and dreary here now for months…..Not to mention that last summer and the summer before were also both quite wet and dreary. If I wanted to live in the rain forest I would have moved to Washington for Pete’s sake! Our ground is so waterlogged that most of the seeds won’t even germinate, not to mention, in these mountain altitudes, when there is no sun, there is little heat. So this week we get fifty degree days and rain. I looked at the ten day forecast yesterday and Tuesday, June 14th is the next day they have predicted sun! My poor, poor peppers and tomatoes do not know what to do with all of this stinkin rain!

A couple days of clouds quickly steals the ambition right out from under me and I just want to cover my head till the sun comes out…..

Blue light receptors or something…. nonetheless, I get a bit grumpy and cynical when the sun hides for days. Oh, don’t get me wrong.  I have plenty of drive and motivation, but a complete lack of ambition and focus. I can make lists all day long of the things I want to accomplish despite the dreary weather, but when I look at them and pick a chore, I wander aimlessly around avoiding any real projects.

We have it much better than ND. Those poor folks are drowning in our runoff….. My prayers are with ya folks! We ALL want it to STOP RAINING!  Anymore it seems like all April showers bring, is more May showers, and June Showers…is it ever gonna stop?

Tomorrow is my son’s last day of school for the year. I look forward to some quality time with him this summer. The other day he told me that his best friend (who attends church with us), has decided that he believes in the Egyptian gods, and that he is sad because he really wants his friend to remember Jesus before the end comes. He is worried about missing his friend in heaven. Is that not a sweet thought from a twelve year old boy? All I can do is pray for his dear friend, and hope he finds his way back. Children are so amazing!

I can’t wait for this blog to grow into a large enough domain that I actually have a reason to make tabs, and keep track of the seasons. I sure wish the weather would dry up enough for me to go out and get some photos. I did take some of the front bed, which is going to be a perennial bed. Before pictures from last week. I have since dropped several pots of perennial herb seeds down into the soil, of which, a few have germinated. We might get a spot of sun tomorrow, I will try for some new photos of the herb pots pre growth.

Before I was a Christian, long long before, I often spent time online reading blogs about crafts, sustainable living, and gardening. It seems like I felt like I was constantly coming across Christian sustainability web pages and blogs. By this I mean web pages published or blogs maintained by Christians who are mostly or completely self sufficient. Off the grid I suppose. Now, I go looking for those blogs and I cannot find much. What’s up with that?

My boy wants meatloaf…I want to be lazy, meatloaf it is then. Funny how much you will do for your children. I take way better care of him than I do myself. I insist he eat healthy meals when I can barely stomach them (or maybe chew, can’t wait to get these stinkin teeth fixed). I insist he have a sleep routine when I cannot establish one. I insist he go to the dentist, while I myself procrastinate…. hmmm? Whats up with that?

I am the volunteer coordinator for the local Spay/Neuter task force. Three times a year we hold a local event during which we Spay/Neuter almost two hundred low-income animals for free. I live for this event. It puts some worth into my otherwise, somewhat boring life. This particular event, we happened to schedule for what appears to be vacation week. Five of my regular volunteers have called me to tell me that they will be on vacation for that week! Oh Crap!   Not quite in panic mode but not really comfortable either!

I find that i go through a cycle of feeling both blessed by where I am in life and how far I have come, and feeling quite stagnant. It really feels, sometimes, like my life is just a series of naps, chores, and snacks. I desperately wish that my husband and son would help me keep our house clean without me having to get angry or sad. Most of the time when I get angry or sad, they help me out for a day or two, and then right back to the same old routine. I clean all week, and then we trash the place on weekends. It sucks to feel like I have no real worth except to clean up and feed after my husband and son. I want to garden and craft and write a book. I want to take my dogs to the park on a routine basis. Ugh! I want some help. How many housewives feel this way? And yet, as meaningless as it all seems some days, I feel more blessed than I ever have…..Hmmm. Whats up with that?   I gotta go make meatloaf!

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