Oh thank you Lord! I can feel a sense of normalcy returning to my life. It has been almost four months of wondering if I was ever going to be a productive human being again. I have had no desire to do any of the things I enjoy, like use my dehydrator and garden. Well, some of that I desired to do, but couldn’t. I am starting to have the desires and the energy, and even a little motivation, to start doing these things again. After three back injuries all at once, I guess I needed some serious heal time. It is hot here today, hotter than normal, but it has been a fabulous day. I have been in such a great place, and feeling so content with life. I have learned a few things about letting go of some stressors and taking care of me for real. It has been a long test of my patience, but I have survived it.
Today I processed a bunch of venison jerky. I believe six pounds, and it sits in my fridge marinating in some of the yummiest smelling juices. I cannot wait to sink my teeth into it when it is done! Hubby’s meals on the road are getting a little boring, and it’s time for wifey to get her broken body up and moving again. Thankfully, it is healing up just in time!
Well, it’s been a few days since I started this post. Life has been a little hectic lately, and I am finally getting back here. It is not near as hot today, but I am somewhat impatient. Feeling overstimulated, and like my routine has been turned upside down in the last couple weeks, I am overwhelmed. I think I have a few more days of overwhelmed in store for me before it all regulates and returns to “normal”. Hubby should get to come off the road for a couple hours this weekend, and it will be so nice to see him! I intend to spend the day catching up on chores that I have let get away from me this week, so that I can sit and enjoy my Saturday with hubby. School is officially out, and I look forward to an active summer with my son. My sick friend, the one with kidney cancer, should finally be coming home this month. It’s been too long and too raw and it will be nice to hug them! I am in overall good spirits, but I can tell I am overwhelmed by the lack of patience in my voice.
I feel desperate to find my rescue ranch and get me some chickens and bees and alpaca’s, oh my! I also feel an “extreme” sense of patience and serenity about it. I started a Bible Study for women on facebook, and so far it is going pretty good. I am in this wonderfully content place, and still, there is patience where restlessness used to be, a sort of , well, understanding, that when it is time, it will apparent. Some days I think it is time, but I don’t have the ranch, other days I think that if it were time, I would be able to find the ranch I am supposed to use. I just don’t know. I am going to have to spend some serious time in prayer on clarity! I don’t know what I am supposed to do to find it. Been looking at ranches like crazy, but none of them seem quite right, I have yet to see a ranch and say “that’s the one”. I think that when I find it I will know. I have had this place I drive, like Sunday drive, well, before gas got so darned expensive! I love it in that canyon. It would be beyond my wildest dreams to live up there. Yesterday, I was up there, and there are many homes for sale, most at a fairly reasonable price… one can hope, and dream, right?
So, today I sit in frazzled contemplation. It is hard to do my chores, because I mostly want to pack it all up as I am cleaning it off or out, but that doesn’t seem to rational now, does it? I have tons of craft projects I am finally motivated and inspired to do, and well, I am generally good and back up and running, which is great. My shoulder still gets sore but for the ost part I am functional as long as I don’t do any heavy labor. No lifting planters full of dirt, but I believe that I can still have a small garden this year. I just have to buy some starts instead of starting them from seed…which is a bummer, but life goes on, and I have bigger fish to fry, so I will take what I can get.
My child is clearly a teenager. I don’t know when it happened, but one day he was this sweet little kid, and the next day he was yanking stuff outta my hands, saying things like “duh” and “whatever”. Oh man, I don’t know how I will handle him this summer, but one thing is for sure, he does not get to let his manners go. I have set pretty strict rules about expectations for him for the summer. He is expected to do his chores, and practice his extracurricular’s before sitting on his bum being a lazy teenager! Martial arts is going fantastic, and he absolutely loves it, even makes good decisions about it. I couldn’t be happier with our decision to pursue it.
Well, enough of my ramblings, I should get back to the grind. I just wanted to get this out there finally. Until next time, many blessings…