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Regrouping

img_1263-e1493141438594.jpgOh my friends, it has been some time, hasn’t it? I apologize for my absence. The last two weeks have been all about regrouping and redefining. I followed through with that big decision I was in the process of, and now that it has me on a new path, or possibly, back on my original path, I have had to step back and reevaluate my situation.

Overall, I am incredibly thrilled with the situation. I still needed to process and reevaluate. I have renewed excitement. I had most definitely strayed off course. Suddenly, my passions are back in the picture. What happened? Well, that non profit I started was due to a vision I received when I was saved. I was given a clear set of pictures of what it was supposed to look like. Founding a non profit is not what you would expect if you have not been through the process. One thing you may not realize, is that even though I founded it, did all the work, and raised all of the money, it does not belong to me. Once it becomes a non profit, it belongs to the state, and the board has all control. I am just the instrument for getting it done. Unfortunately, my board had a different vision of this foundation than I did, and I was becoming miserably burdened, chasing all those dead end roads, and getting no where. It was becoming something that I was once passionate about, but recently found myself waking up resenting. It was costing me a ton of money, It was playing on the co-dependency issues that I had learned how to resolve years ago. It was causing me a great deal more stress than I was willing to give to it. It was affecting my entire family negatively. And then one day my husband asked me what was up? Why was I avoiding this situation so much? What had changed that my passion had fizzled away. I gave him a lame but valid excuse, and then spent several days weighing this question in my mind. What I came to see was that God had given me a vision of a mission. In an attempt to follow through, I built this non profit. In the process of having a board that did not have the same vision and agenda as me, it became warped into something very different from what I had been shown. And I resented it. Deeply. I resented the way the board treated me. I resented the way that half of them snickered when I spoke of God giving me this mission, or the way they snottily told me that I should be asking my church for money because “thats what they do, isn’t it?”. I resented what they had turned it into, and I resented how they talked to me. It most certainly had become something very different than the mission I had been shown, and I needed out like my ability to breathe depended on it.

I asked them to dissolve it, they said no and called me at the last minute to tell me that I was not welcome at the meeting that would determine the fate of my “baby”. In somewhat of a “thanks for doing all the hard work, have a nice life”, goodbye, they just dismissed me from the foundation I had built. I felt betrayed. One of the people I trusted most in this world hurt me deeply. It took me a few days to process that betrayal, but ultimately I got through it. I asked them to at least change the name and let me keep the name and logo for my own mission as it had been presented to me, and they agreed. So in the end, I am not really out anything. I set up a non profit, and essentially had it stolen from me, but maybe it was what was meant to be. I have my doubts about their ability to maintain it, but I am content that I am no longer committed to it and that I am in a position to rebuild it, privately this time. I have to wait three months to reclaim use of the name, and maybe longer while they submit a name change to the government, but ultimately, I got to keep what was mine.

This whole process unlocked some doors I was feeling trapped behind, and ultimately renewed my passion for the original vision. That moment of betrayal had a hidden blessing in it, as they always do, and once again, my burdens have a way of teaching me who I am meant to be and why I am living the life that I am. I have been in an introspective space for months now, and I am becoming blatantly aware of things I feel helpless to explain to people. As I watch from my quiet little existence on the edge of society, the level of mental unhealth terrifies me. The pace of life at which people live astounds me, the toxicity of our society horrifies me, and I feel helpless. The problems are so intertwined, I do not know how you go about starting the process of fixing it. Shame. Lack of love. Poor mental health. All leading to a society that is lost and confused. A society that is hurting. What causes all this shame and lack of mental health. Oh good grief, where would we begin? Food, environmental toxins, poor parenting habits, the rat race, loss of community over a perceived need to do more, have more, and be more.

At what point does one step back and say “How do I fix this”? Where is that line that we cross in order to take control of our lives? How do we teach the inhabitants of this Earth about love, simplicity, gratitude, and lifting each other up? How do we reach the masses and teach them how to clean the toxicity from their lives. How do we get healthy skills taught to so many lost souls who just never had a chance to learn that life can be different. We can’t expect people to use skills they were never taught, so how do we most effectively get the information about healthy skills, to the masses? How many times have I tried to show people how to make these changes and choose healthy skills, only to hear “but, can’t, won’t”? How do we get people to see that it does not have to be the miserable existence that they believe they are doomed to? How do we get them to see that they are able to change things if they are able to listen openly and change their thought processes and behaviors? I am aching to see the state of societies mental health heal, and I do not know how to make the biggest impact that I can to affect the most people.

The answer always comes back to love. We must teach each other how to love in a healthy way. We need to create more love and teach others how to project it in everything they do. If we are creating anything other than love, we are not perpetuating mental health in the world. Shame, addiction, anxiety, and depression are rampant in this world. Disease is eating us alive. There is an epidemic happening, and there is a shortage of compassionate, empathetic, love inoculations. We desperately need to consciously decide how we will show someone love today. Genuine love. Not the image of love, but genuine, honest, sincere love. What skills can we gently teach people so that they too are able to create more love? I ache for the children who are growing up in this unhealthy society. I ache for the young adults who think that is normal. I ache for the old men and women who look around at this society and hang their heads in shame, and I ache for those of us in the middle somewhere, looking around wondering what in the hell happened to the world, and hearing a hundred answers come pouring in all at once, so deeply intertwined with each other that it is like untangling all of the chains in an old necklace drawer. Where does one even begin?

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Sometimes that tangle of chains seems impossible. We have to step away and look in at it later when our brain is calmer. Sometimes we break a chain or two in our impatience, but eventually we can usually untangle the mess. Today, I am looking at the tangle of chains that bind this society, and I am desperately seeking one loose chain to start unraveling. I am desperately seeking the answers to where I fit in most effectively for the purpose of untangling the chains that our society bares, like the weight of the world tying them down and keeping them prisoner in this crazy world we live in.

Where is the bolt cutter in my toolshed? Is it sharp enough for these chains? Is it ready to take on a task of epic proportions? As I toil away at my peaceful little existence, cleaning, cooking, gardening, and caring for my family, I am grateful for the blessings in abundance. As I dream of how I will grow this existence for us, I forget sometimes, how removed from typical society I am. I forget that this is an atypical existence that we have built. Until I try to talk to people about what it feels like to live with peace. Then I become blatantly aware of how atypical our existence is, and I feel desperate to help others understand that they too, can build there own personal atypical existence. One that honors them and who they were meant to be. That traditional social standards may at first make it look impossible, but that is an illusion. A consequence of being trained to think inside of a social parameter. Remember my old cars post a few weeks back? Its all about choosing to be genuine to ourselves despite societies perspective on the matter. Are you struggling with desperately wanting something that you “can’t” have? Are you wondering how to find your purpose? Are you unsure what to do next? Are you just unhappy and don’t know why? Where are you in identifying the things holding you back?

A technique that works well with cutting through this stigma of being trapped in our miserable situation is to list it. Start by stating your goal. What is it that you want? Write it down. Now in two columns, make lists. On one side, the issues holding you back. What is stopping you from having what you want? What roadblock is stopping you from taking that path. What chains are tying you down? In the second column, what are some solutions to each individual issue. Prioritize them. Decide which order they need to be addressed, and start seeking outside the box solutions. One at a time, check them off as you find solutions, and before you know it, you will find yourself in that place that you thought was impossible to get to.

What if you don’t even know what you want. There have been a few times in my work, that the person I am working with does not even know what they want, what they are passionate about. They just don’t want to be miserable any more but isn’t life just get up, go to work, come home, eat, sleep, and do it again? What do you mean “passions”?

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How do you find your passions? If you don’t even know what you want, how on Earth do you go about creating it? Well, ask yourself this question. “What makes my heart beat fast?” What is it that shaped you? What affects you? When you scroll through facebook, or the news, what is it that catches your attention? There is a very good chance that those are your passions, and if you follow your passions, you will eventually be successful. I honestly had no idea that when I finally discovered my passions, they would be so much different than what I thought my childhood dreams were, and yet in many ways, my childhood dreams hinted at pieces of those passions. A great example is that I always knew that I loved writing, but I never could have predicted that it would be a vessel for helping people to heal. I grew up in a city and had no idea that I would base my entire adult life around creating a self sustainable homestead. I had no idea how much I love taking pictures, despite the many photography classes that I took and that I was a photographer for the high school yearbook. But, when I sit down and make a list of things I desperately want to achieve, I find that many of my passions have always been deeply ingrained in me, I just didn’t put together the pieces until I had hindsight for perspective. I had a special needs child, and helping kids grew in me. I was a single mom, and helping single parents became a seed in my garden of purpose. I worked in an animal shelter, and learned that I am passionate about humanitarian work. I got sick, and food became one of my passions. These became a driving forces, and somehow, it all fits perfectly into that long term goal. When I step back and look at the whole situation, using my hindsight, I see that life has always been setting me up to pursue my passions, and tie them all together in one big bow of service to community that leaves me feeling content and full of peace. Its a quiet life. An existence I could never have imagined as a child. I never foresaw myself pursuing a life of service to others. Until I was in it, and then I realized it is always what I wanted. To make the world a better place. In my own quiet little way, I am doing exactly that, and I am doing it with the tools that I was granted through passion. Passions I have always had, and passions that grew as a result of life and trying to “get there”. Chase the things that make your heart beat fast. Those are the areas of life we are called to. At some point they all tie together and become purpose.

What is your purpose, and what is holding you back? If you identify those things, you can identify a way to achieve the unachievable, and you can overcome the misery and pave a new path. Having a passionate dream to pursue renews hope, and renewed hope is, as far as I can tell, the only loose chain available in this tangle of chains that holds us back. As you unravel the passions, and renew the hope, the other chains will start to come loose and soon you will have unraveled all the chains and be able to see clearly how to move past the “can’t, but, won’t” of your passions and on to the changing of the world part.

If I can help you. If you have questions. If I can clarify anything further. Please let me know. The world needs more peace, love and healing, Those of us who know how to achieve it are responsible for teaching others how to have it as well. I know today’s post is less uplifting than typical of me, but if I can help one person to see that they can change their miserable situation, then it has been worth it.

The air is heavy with Spring rain. The fire crackles in the fireplace, and my babies are germinating like crazy. The homestead beckons. I love you all! Until next time…God bless.

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Finding Hope

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Anyone who has read this blog even one time knows that I try very hard to keep it positive. I make a conscious effort to find the bright side of even the worst situations, because I know that our trials are blessings in disguise, if we are willing to grow from them. This week has been an exceptionally trying for me, and I have had no energy to fight for joy. I spent the last two days keeping to myself instead of fighting the blahs. I spent a great deal of time thinking to myself “How can I write something positive while I sit in this dreary mood?”

Some days it is much harder to find hope and positivity than others. For some reason this week is proving exceptionally trying, for no good reason at all. The little things that I normally take with a grain of salt are really weighing on me and I am struggling to shake them off. I look around at my life, and it is no better or worse than it was a week ago, but boy am I tired of gray skies and chilly weather. Starting to feel like a caged animal and I suspect that is contributing to my lack of positivity and joyful abundance. The weather says sun, but day after day, I wake up to chilly weather and gray skies. Expectation causes disappointment, and maybe the answer is to stop hoping the weather forecast will be right about sun one of these days.

Meanwhile, I need a way to get out of this funk, and maybe I am not alone. It occurs to me that maybe it would  be a good idea to highlight some ways that we can rise above the dreary blahs and create some joy and hope of our own. How do you go about making a difference in the world? Living in the country, and making it my business to avoid going to town as much as possible, makes it challenging at times, to find ways to spread joy to others. I often hear people express that they don’t have money to give to strangers when challenged to make a difference for someone. Today I want to challenge you to find a way that doesn’t involve monetary donations, to brighten someones day. It doesn’t have to be a stranger. People we know need their days brightened too. How can we be more present to hearing others needs, and taking a moment to try to perpetuate their needs being met, or even just give them a spark of hope in humankind to get them through the day?

Even perpetually positive people need a pick me up sometimes. They are not that way because they have no challenges. More often than not, they have learned how to rise above challenges, and find the bright side of their situation. I have found that my “inspirational people” posts have made a profound impact on the people I have chosen to highlight. People who are overcoming challenges, finding the bright side, and consciously trying to reside in a place of positivity. They need to hear that they are doing good too. Staying hopeful and positive can be real work at times. It doesn’t just come naturally. Even the most bright, cheerful, positive, and hopeful of us have to work at times, to hold on to that joy. To not be defeated by the harder parts of life that would hold us back if we weren’t fighting for the light is challenging at times. There are definitely days that it would be much easier to give in to the crappy attitude and overall blahs. Maybe you know a perpetually positive person who could use some kind words about how their attitude inspires you? A simple way to create more joy, and to help the joy creators to stay on task. There are days when it feels like people take joy for granted and assume that because we try to keep a smile on our faces, that we have no stressors or doubts. It always helps to hear a little validation that our joy makes a difference. A simple challenge. Find someone who inspires you and tell them that they make a difference in your life.

There are many little ways you can make a difference that have nothing at all to do with monetary donations. What about stopping to let someone in front of you? Be it a line at the post office or grocery store, or in the midst of heavy traffic? You might make someone mad. Someone who hasn’t seen the example of slowing down and making room for others. It is always a possibility. You have a choice to care about that or not. You get to choose if making a difference outweighs what others may think. A while back, I was at the post office in town. I rarely use the post offices in town because they are chaos. Madhouses with lines that don’t stop. Using a post office in town means allowing at least an extra half hour for errands, vs using the local office, which takes no more than five minutes, ever. However, occasionally I find myself needing to use one of the town post offices, and I always make sure to prep my brain for patience when I do. When I do have to go to town, I try to remember to pray for an opportunity to make a difference for someone while I am there. On this particular day, I had a long list of errands, and I was certain there would be a way for me to spread some joy. I went through my list, one item at a time, and as I stood for what felt like forever, in that post office line, I was pondering that I hadn’t yet received an opportunity to bless someone random. This was a long line. I think the entire wait was nearly an hour. Every employee was busy and it didn’t appear that things were going to pick up any time soon. This is also the office that deals in passports, so it has more traffic than the other branches do. After about half hour in the line, I was starting to get close enough to the counter that I could see what was happening at the counters. The line behind me had grown and was nearly out the door. I noticed a middle aged woman wandering around looking so lost and confused. I watched her for about five minutes, getting nowhere. She had no idea where she needed to be, and it seemed apparent that she did not want to get in that long line to wait to be told she belonged elsewhere. Without thinking twice about the people in line behind me, I invited her to stand in line in front of me. She looked taken aback and started to protest. I assured her that it was absolutely ok, that she looked confused, and that I was sure the people at the counter could quickly tell her where she needed to be. We talked for a few minutes. She accepted my offer and graciously stood in front of me in line. She thanked me three times before that line behind me occurred to me again. At some point I turned around to apologize if I had caused any inconvenience to those immediately behind me, and what I saw when I turned around was astounding. I saw warm smiles. Nods of approval. I got a whole lot of affirmation from all of those people who had been impatiently waiting in line. They were smiling?? talking to each other. The entire line had been impacted by this moment, and not in a negative way of having to wait an extra three minutes. A couple people smiled, nodded, assured me that it was just fine. I really started out just trying to make a difference for one person. And a profound difference I had made, just being friendly and kind to a stranger, but that energy overflowed to the people behind me. The air of impatience in the room had dissolved and people were talking to each other! I got approving smiles and nods. People were happy to see this good thing happening. They supported it, and the positivity spilled over and affected everyone in the room. If anyone was upset by my actions, I was none the wiser. I left that post office surprised at the immediate effect that one random act of kindness, on a single stranger, had on an entire room full of strangers. I have to hope that at least one of them was inspired to go do something nice for another stranger, somewhere else in their day,

The ways you can help change the world are numerous. They range in size from a tiny gesture, such as letting a little ole lady in line in front of you, to a huge act of sacrifice, like organizing a rummage sale and donating the proceeds to someone in need.

Maybe you see a mom with her arms full. Do you have a minute to help her to her car? Maybe you see a child acting out in the grocery store? Do you think “if that were my child…” or do you remember the days when your child was actually having that tantrum once upon a time? I have found that simply engaging the child can change the whole scene for that exacerbated mother who just wants to get through the grocery store and get out of there with her overtired child. I have yet to meet a parent who does not seem truly grateful when I distract their child from their tantrum. We don’t always have the choice to leave our children with someone else while we get the necessities for dinner. Empathy goes a whole lot further than judgement. Do you see someone in a wheelchair? Maybe you could offer to reach something on a high shelf for them?

Pick some wildflowers for a neighbor. Make an extra big batch of soup and share with someone, Hold a door or carry a bag. Simply smile and make eye contact. Plant some extra garden seeds to share with a neighbor, or bake some cookies to share with a stranger. There are unlimited ways to make a difference in this world. Share your extra eggs or veggie bounty. Tell someone something you find beautiful about them. Do you have extra jerky or meat from this years hunt? There is always someone hungry, or simply someone who is not blessed with the opportunity to have real, fresh food. You have any idea how tiresome it must be to eat McDonalds day in and day out, because you are homeless and that is what kind hearted people do, buy you some fast food. Certainly, any food is a blessing, and I have even recomended that people buy a book or two of gift certificates from the fast food places, to keep in their glove box and pass out to homeless people, and of course, we all know beggars cant be choosers, but I had an experience with a homeless man one time that shined a light on this for me. We had just bought groceries, and were headed through a drive through to get one of those all too sugary frozen coffee drinks that are a rare treat for us. I saw a man in the parking lot, and I almost ordered him food. Then it occurred to me. “I bet he gets sick of McDonalds”. My son agreed, and we quickly did a mental inventory of our groceries. I ordered him a spoon on my way through the drive though. We cruised over to him, and I told him that I would buy him McDonalds if he wanted, but that I had the thought he must get sick of it. He nodded so enthusiastically and quickly confirmed that he gets way too much of that nutrient devoid “food”. We dig through our bags. I gave him a yogurt and the spoon I had grabbed while getting our icy drinks. My son held open the donut box and let him choose his pick of the mixed dozen we had purchased. We gave him a few real food items. Cheese and some yogurt, a donut filled with jelly. We offered jerky but he didn’t really have any teeth and declined. We chatted with him for five minutes or so, wished him blessings, and headed on our way. It was evident that he was thrilled that someone considered maybe he had had his fill of cheap cheeseburgers and fries for the week, possibly for a lifetime. He also really seemed to appreciate that we took time just to talk to him, instead of just tossing a bag of food or a couple bucks his way.

I recently won a hundred dollar gift certificate to a higher priced local establishment. With my celiac, I can’t eat there. I carried that gift certificate around in my wallet for months, wondering what I would do with it. A couple weeks ago,  I was in the gas station, when I ran into a local business owner, working behind the counter. Now why would she need a second job, unless life was handing her lemons, despite her positive outlook, and it occurred to me to gift that restaurant meal to her. I had no expectations. I just wanted to give it to someone who would appreciate it, but a week later, when I was feeling some stress about a detail of our life, she showed up with an answer to that stress, completely unexpected, and changed the whole course of a week for me. Because when you spread joy, it comes back to you in unexpected ways.

We all have some hotel sample products around, don’t we? One really creative idea that I just love is to take old purses or cosmetics bags that you are done with, and fill them up with some of those hotel samples of soap and shampoo you have taking up space in a cabinet, and keep them in your car for when you see a homeless person. They need soap and toothpaste too. Or, if you are able to spend money to help, you could toss a granola bar, pouch of jerky, dried fruit, and a water bottle in there too.

There are countless ways to make a difference in peoples lives. Most of them require very little effort on our part for the amount of difference they make to another. It is true, smile at a stranger and they will be more inclined to smile at the next guy. Five minutes out of your day to impact a stranger can have so much more impact on the world than you may think, as they go on to share their joy in a contagious outbreak of loving words and gestures. Joy spreads rapidly if we take a moment to distribute it. All we have to do is plant a mustard seed of joy in the world, and it will grow into a great tree of loving actions and words beyond the scope of your site. You may never see the true reach of your loving actions, but I promise you that they will grow roots and branches that are abundant with fruits of spirit.

How can you spread some love and joy today? What seeds can you plant to nourish the world? There are many places to get ideas. A quick google search will bring up a plethora of websites completely dedicated to spreading kindness. I found a couple for you to start with. Being kind is not synonymous with spending money. There are more ways to be kind without money than most realize. Here are a few places to start. I would love to hear how you randomly spread kindness. I would love to hear your ideas for ways to change the world. I want to know how you nourish the spirit of others. Do you wander through life in a daze, just trying to get through the race today? Or are your eyes and ears alert, seeking ways to create some love and spread some joy?

If you are looking for more ways to spread some loving kindness, here are a few websites that might give you some creative ideas. Tell me what you come up with. Lets keep each other accountable for creating loving light.

http://www.spreadkindness.org/kindness-ideas

https://www.randomactsofkindness.org/kindness-ideas

http://www.bradaronson.com/acts-of-kindness/

http://andthenwesaved.com/random-acts-of-kindness-ideas/

http://www.kindspring.org/ideas/

That should give you a good start at finding at least one way that you can make a difference today. I would love to hear how you plan to make a difference this week. God bless Ya’all. have a great day!

 

 

 

 

Timing

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Isn’t timing everything? It occurs to me that with the onset of Spring, I open a new chapter of this book of life. It is fantastic outside, the hardiest of the perennials are starting to come up. I mean really popping up! Yesterday I saw my first asparagus spears. How incredibly thrilling! I have been in deep introspection the last few weeks, and this week it finally seems to be coming together and making sense. Such an incredible relief. I spent a lot of time in the garden this weekend, in my time of reflection. I moved a bunch of perennials from their pots, to a new permanent raised bed that hubby made for me last Fall. Every morning I wander out there and see a little more growth, as they embrace their fresh, new homes.  They are really taking off now. It invigorates me to see them digging their roots into the fresh, rich, new soil.

I feel fresh. I feel ready to take on a new chapter and turn the pages of the last one. I feel ready for closure, so that I may begin my journey down the next trail in my pathway.  I am really quite consumed the last couple of days, with thoughts on how a seemingly negative situation can really help us grow into the beautiful souls that we are meant to become. I have had many months to process my situation. I am not one to make rash decisions, and once I start talking out loud about something, it is safe to assume I have probably considered all of the details that I have available and have already made a decision based on the information I have. Like the plants in my garden, I am ready for a transplant into a more nourishing situation.

I made a big decision to take an abrupt left turn onto a new trail head. I am not abandoning the path that I was on, just taking a side path along the same route. The path I was on was twisting a different direction than my end goal, and I decided to stay on a route along that path, even if it was an off shoot of my original path, but to head in the direction that seems more likely to get me to my destination. The beaten path is not always the right path.

Life twists and turns. It is ever changing. That which does not bend in the wind will inevitably break. We must stay flexible if we wish to get anywhere. Often it is hardship after hardship, just for a glimpse of the magical. We have to climb rocks and scale mountains if we want to see the glorious sunset over the valley. We bump our shins, sometimes stumble through stinging nettle, and often encounter obstacles that wish to slow us down. We must use our critical thinking and survival skills to overcome these obstacles if we wish to continue forward to that glorious sunset. Sometimes we have to wander off the path to get some mud for that stinging nettle burn, but ultimately, if we keep putting one foot in front of the other, we will crest that mountain.

I promised you that I was going to start writing about people who inspire me. In this period of introspection, I find myself thinking about my friend Katie. This woman is an inspiration like none you have met before. An ever beaming ray of light, who faces hardship with determination and infectious positivity. She doesn’t pretend that everything is peaches and cream all day long. She doesn’t hide her hurts and only share her joy. This woman is present. You can count on her to be living in the moment. Dark or light, she comes through true to herself and her work. When she hurts, she says so, while actively finding a way to turn that hurt into light and opportunity. She always manages to find a way to turn her pain into an opportunity to create light in the world. She reaches out and asks for love and light when she is knocked down. Just think about it. When she is down, rather than whining, complaining, and doing the ‘poor me’, she asks for love, light, and insight. She seeks conversations about the ways that others have overcome similar hurts. She reaches out to her sources of love. She grasps for the light, reaching with every ounce of energy she has on some days, just to grasp a ray. And every time she grasps, she compels others to put light into the world. We can never have too much love and light in our universe, and her optimism, even in the face of excruciating pain, is contagious.

 

She is a gleaming example for anyone who wishes to live a spiritually fulfilled life. She finds ways to see blessing in her hardship. She finds ways to use her hardship to bring more love and light into this world. She takes advantage of the moments when she isn’t facing her demons, to truly appreciate the simple things. Mud between your toes, the love of a great dog, the smell of fresh air, the ability to breathe another fine day. She has grand dreams and stops to enjoy the simple beauty that surrounds her in any given moment on her way to reaching those dreams. She is most definitely determined to make the very best of every moment she has been gifted.

She recognizes her limits. She honors her body. We live in this society that is next to impossible to keep up with. Many of us forget to honor our body and spirit. We get so caught up in the rat race that we forget that we need nourishment in the way of rest. Our bodies will scream for that nourishment until they get what they need. Katie has learned to listen to her body and honor it. When it screams for quiet, she quickly acknowledges that and gives it the down time it needs, without shaming herself for needing that break. Without forcing herself to try to be a part of the race. She finds ways to grow, even in her darkest hours.

When I was going through the hardest part of my healing process, I kept hearing “You are a survivor. You will be fine”. At some point, that brought up anger in me. I was tired of hearing “your a survivor”, and one day it came gushing out in a mad wave of rage. “I don’t want to be a survivor anymore. I want to LIVE!” I want to really experience and enjoy life, not just survive it. And I became determined to overcome survivorship. I was done with that label. I was going to be the poster girl for really living life. Nothing was going to stop me. I was going to find a way to stop surviving, and start living. For once and for all. Determined. New goal. I had to look at my obstacles, and use some outside the box brainstorming to find ways to overcome them, but I was committed. I was doing this. Time to shed the survivor skin, and start breathing every minute of air I was blessed with. Katie encompasses this for me. She is a real life version of this epiphany I had so many years ago. I am working hard to remember it every moment, but there are many, many times, that I am thankful for her as a reminder.

Some days it is hard. Some days I feel compelled to fall back into a pattern of stinkin thinkin, even if only for a moment. Somehow, it seems that when these moments hit, she shines through. Her light beams through my screen and reminds me that I have a goal. A simple goal. To live. In the truest, most honest and loving, sense of the word. To really embrace life, even on dark days. To remember to be thankful for the very gift of breath.

I have never met Katie in person, though I like to think that we would hit it off fabulously. She is truly one of the most inspiring women that I have ever met. I see her from an outside view of her world, and I wonder if she see’s the radiating light that I do? I wonder if she realizes what a profound impact she has on this world? Watching as she and her beautiful pup companion, Obi, travel down their path, is truly a gift. I am a fairly spiritually stable woman, and I am all too aware of how many people struggle to survive, every  single day. I consider the impact she makes on my life, and I wonder if she realizes what an astounding impact she must be making on the lives of so many people who are far less spiritually healthy. She lives by example, and she is a shining example of someone who really embraces the art of living each day.

We would all be better off with a Katie in our lives. Thank you, Katie, for filling the world with light. For being a shining source of inspiration. You keep doing you. It is just what we need more of in this world. Know that you are changing lives, and keep embracing that beautiful spirit of yours. If you would like more inspiration by Katie, you can check her out here.

*The photos of Katie and Obi belong to her. I have not yet been blessed to meet her in real life to take my own. All rights to the photos of Katie and her pup belong to her and may not be reproduced without her permission.

 

Answered prayers

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Good day, my friends! I hope today finds you well. It has been a few days since our last encounter, and my brain is just swimming with thoughts. So many things I would like to talk about today, choosing one subject is hard. Bare with me if I jump around a bit. First, a disclaimer. I did not make that meme, and I don’t know who did, but it sure feels perfect for today.

Its been kind of a rough winter here. Who am I kidding? Its been one of our toughest seasons ever. I have been really sick since December. I have tried every remedy that I can find, from conventional medicine and antibiotics, to every alternative treatment I can find. I am finally feeling a bit of relief with my last two remedies, the two I was most apprehensive to try and yet, they seem to be working better than everything else, and so, while they make me nervous due to lack of scientific backing (I like to research things before I put them in my body), I may have finally found a routine that works. Sweet Heavenly relief!

Its been an exceptionally long, harsh, cold winter for us. It has gotten so trying. Being a single income family, we can’t afford for hubby to be ill. Just two days of illness set us back quite a bit, and the challenge of heating this big old home has proven to be a lesson in patience and perseverance this Winter. Finally, a light at the end of the tunnel. The days are slowly warming up, and we were blessed to receive a cord of wood from our wood company, out of the kindness of their hearts. I cried with inexplicable gratitude for answered prayers this weekend. Somehow, with patience and trust, we are going to survive this winter. The end is in sight.

We spent the weekend processing wood and setting up the seedling nursery. Its time! Yay! Time to start seedlings. My all time favorite season. I used to volley between Fall and Spring as my favorite seasons, but Spring is starting to prevail, because I spend most of the winter impatiently waiting for planting time. Something so satisfying about watching those little seeds pop up out of the soil. Longing for the day I can start to harvest the fruits of these precious babies. My mouth waters at the thought of fresh garden produce.

I find myself lamenting on so many blessings, and so incredibly grateful for answered prayers. For faith and patience. I find myself wondering if any of you felt compelled to look into the ways your food is processed after my last post. Do you want to hear more about food? Do you want to hear about some of the natural remedies I prescribe to? What do you want to talk about? I find myself flooded with topics. We can talk about homesteading, simplifying and slowing down (yes, it IS possible), alternative remedies? What is in your food? I certainly don’t want to talk about politics, although I could rant about them for some time right now. We can talk about special needs, natural remedies, food processing and gardening. We can talk about crafts and sewing or homemade body products, without all the chemicals. For that matter, we can talk about the many ways to reduce the chemicals in your environment. I have so many passions, we can talk about just about anything you can think of.

I am all over the place.

Scattered.

Overwhelmed with important subjects.

What do YOU want to talk about?

What can we explore together?

I look forward to hearing your thoughts and exploring whatever topics you are interested in, together. I look forward to meeting you and talking to you. I look forward to finding ways to help each other grow into the most loving, positive, joyful forces we can be. How can I help you expand your joy? I have committed to prioritizing this blog. It is time, and God has made that clear to me, so what shall we chat about? I can’t wait to see what you come up with for me. Until we meet again, much love, my friends, and may your days be filled with the loving light of God.

Commitment/Hindsight

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So I have made a commitment to you, my friends. I made a decision to put my gift of words to use and make a point of staying consistent with it. I promised you that I was going to be here, sharing uplifting words and insights with you, on a consistent basis. Well, it only stands to reason that after a commitment like that, my normally overactive brain, decides its time to go blank. I have spent two days wondering what on Earth to write about. Now if you know me at all, you know I love to research. I have a host of knowledge on all types of subjects, and can learn about any subject I don’t know. I had considered just picking a topic out of the bag and doing some research and doing an essay type entry for the day, but that didn’t sound appealing either. In the end, I decided to just come write and see what God has for me to say today. I decided I would ask you what you want to read about? What topics do you feel compelled to think or learn about right now?  I fit in the “Jane of all trades, master of none” category. This used to be bothersome for me. It made me feel like I had no skills that were marketable. That there would always be someone better at every skill I had and  that I would always come in second best or mediocre with my talents. It is a good thing I am not very competitive. In retrospect, I see all kinds of value in this very defining personality trait, and especially as I get older and come to realize what I really want out of life, this is a blessing, but it took hindsight and healing to see that.

Hindsight. What an amazing tool it is! Hindsight helped me heal more than any other single factor. When I was able to look at the obstacles I had overcome. As I look back at those oh so difficult days, I am reminded that hindsight is the tool that helped me to trust God more than any other tool I could find in my extensive bag of tricks. Let me back up a little bit. I, like most of you, had a few really trying issues to face in my childhood. As a child, I hid behind a smile. Behind the gift of finding the bright side. I always told myself, and others, “I have a roof over my head. I have clothes on my back. I have food in my mouth. I have a family that loves me. I am warm. I am not beaten. I have it better than a good portion of the population of the world” I smiled big. The more I hurt, the bigger my smile. Crying. that wasn’t going to work for me. Self pity. No thank you. I lived behind a mask of denial. Little did I know that those tools for finding excuses to not hurt would end up being some of my greatest gifts later in life. Oh I would have to move mountains to see the blessing in them, but for my youth, they were just the coping skill I needed. Unhealthy at the time, but today, one of my most abundant blessings! I knew how to choose joy all along, I just didn’t understand how the tool worked and instead of using it properly, I was using it to hide from healing.  I spent years in therapy, learning to fill my tool shed with new, shiny, well oiled tools. Ones that would prepare me for any breakdown. Ones that would allow me to fix any malfunction in my life. I learned about faith, patience, acceptance, forgiveness, and gratitude, but not in that order, more like, little overlapping bits, all at once. I learned about intention and about being able to choose my joy. All the tools we need to sustain lasting contentment. But hindsight is the one that made trusting the process possible.

Hindsight was the tangible. The rest were just theories, but hindsight proved that they were true. That childhood of convincing myself I had it so much better than so many others, well, that backfired when I hit 19 and ran away to another state. By this time I had started dabbling in some less than savory behaviors and  the unchecked shame that had been building in my youth was in full control of my emotions. At 19, my world turned upside down and inside out. A combination of things affected my emotions and for the first time, I was officially depressed. I had no idea yet. I just thought, “poor me! I got a really crappy deck of cards”. I also started an oral contraceptive at this point in my life.As a disclaimer, I believe that this oral contraceptive played a huge role in the drastic change in my personality and behaviors at this time, but I would not make the connection until years later, when I was 36 and stopped taking birth control. This is a subject for another time. I feel strongly that tri-cyclic oral contraceptives mimic bipolar disorder in many women, and I have a few reasons for believing this, I just don’t know who you talk to about getting this kind of study done, and neither did the doctors and mental health professionals whom I discussed it with.

Now don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that I think my birth control pills caused this issue, just that they forced it to the surface where I couldn’t hide behind that big old smile anymore. I spent the next 15 or 16 years wrestling bipolar disorder. Depression, and all of the emotions that come with this diagnosis. I searched for fulfillment in all the wrong places. I projected and blamed others for my misery. I asked “why me” a billion times over. I did not have God in my life, and from the little I learned about Him as a child, I didn’t want or need Him, or more judgement, in my life. I became a single mother. I moved halfway across the country away from all those people and places I believed were making me miserable. I jumped from one whim obsession to another. I cried and blamed and asked “why me” when each of those whims failed. When life hit me hard, I raged on the phone to anyone who would listen. I cried. I screamed. I used all the “but, can’t won’t” excuses I could find. Such a shame looking back, I was awful. I had no idea. No one told me I could change this. Well. I take that back. Alot of people told me I could, they just didn’t teach me how. When you are in a broken cycle of shame and self destruction, and people tell you that happiness is a choice, but don’t teach you how to choose it, you just think they are an ignorant person who is clueless to your very real life struggles and that it desperately feels that you have no control, how could you possibly force life to give you joy.  In a way, it helps to perpetuate the “can’t, but, won’t” attitude. I lost so much respect, so many potentially great relationships, over people telling my that happiness was my choice, and then not showing me how that was possible. They were all “idiots” who had no idea what it was to be a broken single mother with a special needs child and no marketable skills. They were clueless to my plight. At least, that is how it felt at the time. Today, I would not call them idiots, or judge them at all, because I have learned that acceptance is critical in choosing joy, but I would advise them, if you are going to tell someone that happiness is a choice, don’t say it and turn your back to walk away. Teach them what that phrase means instead of just sounding like an unempathetic fool who doesn’t “get it”. To someone who doesn’t have the tools to choose joy, that is exactly how you come across. Condescending and haughty. “Joy can be yours too, if you just choose it”. Clearly, a person in this state of mind does not have the tools to choose it, or they would be doing so. This kind of advice with no follow up just feels like judgement and lack of understanding, to the person who does not have the tools for choosing joy.

But I digress. We are talking about hindsight today. Understanding the journey is an important part of hindsight. You have to just imagine some of the trials I faced as a single mother, with a special needs child, facing dropping out of college, bipolar disorder, and poverty. Most days it felt the world was out to get me, and that nothing would ever go my way or be on my side. I overreacted to every tiny detail of my life. I had no idea what patience was, or that I could be the change I wanted to see in my life. Here I was, in low income housing. A disgusting, gray, poverty stricken, moldy, housing complex. I was surrounded by people with habits at least as unhealthy as my own, many much less healthy than even my pathetic self was. There wasn’t anyone around to show me what healthy looked like, or how to attain it for myself. I struggled through one day after another. As I left school, I found myself without a source of income and somehow, just at the perfect time, God opened a door for me. I didn’t realize that it would forever alter the course of my life. It was a foreign world. One I had never dared to even peek into before. I took that ranch job 26 miles from home because I didn’t think I had any other options. Little did I know, that it was God intervening. It was God saying “It is time for you to see me, my darling child.” Don’t get me wrong. This didn’t happen overnight. I spent years in that barn with my mentor, crying over the wrongs and injustices of my poor pathetic life. And he was so patient with me. He didn’t shame me. He did not judge me. He did not condemn me. He gently guided me with patience, understanding, empathy, and I am sure a plethora of prayers that I never heard him utter. He may never know how truly grateful I am to him, for showing me what a spirit in love with Christ looks like, and for showing me that the God of my childhood was not the reality of God at all. For his prayers for my salvation. I had rejected God for one reason. He was not rational. The God I was introduced to as a child was presented as a hateful, mean, judgmental creature, much like I imagine the enemy to be. I was not willing to embrace that God. But this God. The one my good friend was showing me. Not telling me about. He obviously told me some things about God, but it was his behavior and demeanor that showed me the truth about God. I pray that God rewards him when he gets to Heaven. That man saved my life! By being a shining example of Gods love, he saved me from myself. He opened my heart and made it possible for me to receive Jesus and forgiveness. Its all a new book from there. Day in and day out he patiently dealt with my ugliness, because, I imagine, that is what God told him to do. I don’t know that he will ever realize how much he changed my life, or how thankful I will always be to him for that. I have told him, in the best human words I can find, but the gratitude goes so far beyond what words can say.

And we finally get to hindsight. After a few years of this man’s mentorship, I started to think that maybe I could have this joy? Maybe I could be enough for God? Maybe God wasn’t punishing me for being alive after all? Maybe God didn’t think I was awful? Could this be real? Oh I wanted it to be. I felt the longing in my heart to be good enough for God. I slowly let my guard down. I finally found the courage to step through the doors of a church. I was scared. I was timid. I hadn’t told a single one of my friends. I went out of necessity. A bargain I made with myself out of a desperate need for financial assistance, I made an excuse to take myself to church three times before I would turn to them for help. It is hindsight that allows me to see how I was pulled through that door. I loved what I found. A whole congregation of people who were trying to emanate this spirit I had seen in my mentor. A thing I had only once seen before in my life, in my grandma, that I was too young and lost to recognize at the time. A simple, loving desire, to love because He first loved them. Tears well up as I get to this part. As I think about that overwhelming love. As I remember back to the day that I gave Him my heart and soul and desperately, quietly hoped that He would accept them. Hindsight. On the day I was saved, He gave me a gift of hindsight. He showed me how every obstacle was indeed a blessing. That the bigger the obstacle, the more He was preparing me, gifting me, leading me the way that He wanted me to go. I had no idea I was already fulfilling my mission on Earth. I had no idea I was developing a set of skills that would prepare me for His exact assignment for me. He showed me how He allowed me to feel lost in the dark over and over again, so that I could understand the light, and most importantly, I realized that He had been beside me the entire time, I just wasn’t looking for him. I often find myself telling people ” God will carry you through the dark, but He resides in the light, and to see Him you must turn to it”. You can not dwell on the darkness, and expect to see light. You must open the door to it. He won’t leave you in the dark, but you have to choose to turn to His light. What I saw, when I opened the door to light, was hindsight. It was every time that I thought I was on the edge of falling into the deepest chasm you can imagine, always, at the last minute, something grabbed me and held me from the plunge. I always managed to get by. I always managed to have a warm home and food in my belly. Somehow, against all odds, I always managed to come out of those extremely emotional battles, and survive to fight another day. Time and time again, He let me feel the brink of destruction and pulled me back just in the nick of time. Little did I know that this was a blessing. That every trial He allowed me to face was a gift. That He was teaching me, so that I could teach someone else, what hindsight is. How it allows for trust. How it allows us to see every burden from a different perspective and how it teaches us to trust Him. He let me stumble. He let me fall, just like any good parent would. He let me learn the hard lessons that all children need to grow, and He was right there to kiss my knee when I stumbled. Pick me up when I fell. He never let me face it alone. Even if I couldn’t see Him, He was right there, opening doors for me before I walked smack right into them. And on that glorious day when I opened my eyes to Him, He showed me with hindsight, that He had always been there, waiting for me to open my eyes to Him. That all along He had been blessing me. Carrying me, opening doors and paving paths for me. This hindsight taught me many things, but most importantly, it showed me that I could always trust Him. That even when it hurts, He has a reason, He is still here, and good will come from it. Ultimately, He taught me with hindsight, that burden is our biggest blessing, that our most important gifts come in packages that look like a four year old wrapped them. With struggle. Messy. But beautiful. Too much tape in one corner, not enough paper on the back. The messier the wrapping, the more precious the gift. God showed me, with hindsight, that I could always trust Him to pull me through, and that the messiest packages will hold the most precious gifts. This is how hindsight helped me to heal. To trust God, and to find patience in the darkest of days. I now see my burdens as gifts that I can’t quite recognize yet, but I know that as I come through them, and get some hindsight, God will once again reveal the beauty of His ways to me. That feeling is priceless. It allows me to face situations calmly. Rationally. Without shame and worthlessness. Patiently. The tools for joy overlap and reinforce each other. Hindsight really makes a profound impact on patience, as well as all of the other tools for choosing joy. Hindsight made it possible for me to trust God. I know that I could not have this lasting joy and contentment, through the daily ups and downs, without trust for God. I am full of gratitude for hindsight, and for the gift of understanding what it means. I cannot imagine a complete, functional toolshed, without a nice sharp “hindsight” in it.

So, it looks like I found some words today. I knew they were in there somewhere. I hope your day is full of hindsight, and the wisdom and calm it brings as you meander through your routine today. I pray your day is full of peace, contentment, and gratitude as you ponder the blessings of your burdens. Much love, my friends. See you soon!

As the wind blows

Wind is not my favorite of the elements. While I recognize the importance of it, I find it truly unsettling and disruptive. Today we have 65 mph wind gusts and I find that even within the protection of these walls, it is wreaking havoc on my focus. As I find myself confined to my warm and cozy home, again I find myself in a place of reflection. I don’t make New Years resolutions. I think I have mentioned that before. This year, however, I decided to do things a little differently. No resolution. But a new approach. I have had these huge dreams on my plate for years now, and each year that passes I find myself longing more and more to achieve them. I have spent so much time daydreaming about the things that I want to change, with no idea how to do so, but to at least stay focused on them, and because I just don’t know what else to do with myself sometimes when the longing gets bigger than the drive. This year, I was sick on New Years. I have learned fairly recently, to honor my body when it speaks to me, so I wrote off an entire week to relaxing and making a plan of attack for this year. How was I going to achieve more of my goals than I had in previous years. How was I going to make this my most productive year I have had yet? How was I going to practice what I preach and stay committed to being the change I want to see in the world? How was I going to manage my time so that I could maximize my productivity on so many callings. My joys are abundant. I love my work with the non profit. I love my work writing and helping people heal. I love teaching people how to choose joy. I love my garden and the start of my small homestead. I love my crafting and sewing. I have an abundance of blessings and skills to put to use. How do I better manage my time so that one doesn’t get left behind while I am focusing on another. How do I make myself stop binge writing to do the dishes and vacuum the floor? How do I balance my time between the aforementioned gifts? So, I spent that first week of January making a vision board.

I could rest, daydream, and craft all at once. Whats not to like? Also, I had high hopes that this vision board would keep me on task. Unfortunately, I have spent the majority of this winter under the weather, and yet somehow, I have managed to be more productive than at any time previous. Even on my worst feeling days I found productivity. Somehow, despite months of compromised health and productivity, I have managed to be more on task than ever before. Yep. I love my vision board. I may even make a “resolution” to make a new one for each new year that I am blessed to experience. I find myself lamenting at how productive I would be if I were feeling 100%. Oh how I am looking forward to that! Meanwhile, I am thrilled at the difference it has made for me even with this never ending respiratory crap. My laundry is caught up. My dishes are all done every night after dinner. My home is clean and I could invite guests in at any time without being embarrassed by the mess. This is a huge accomplishment for me. And making my bed. Do you make you make your bed every day? If not, I recommend you try it for just one week. Even if it is the only thing you accomplish for the day, it will change your perspective. I don’t have words to explain it, but I promise you, it changes your entire outlook. I have a hunch why this is, but no definitive theory. I read an article many, many years ago about the rooms of our home reflecting the “rooms” of our spirit, and how each room in our house is a reflection of how we prioritize and treat ourselves. The bedroom was the room that pointed to caring for your inner self, and I suspect that making the bed as a priority each day is somehow representative of self care. This is just a hunch, and most likely because I have no other explanation for why it makes such a tremendous difference in my attitude, to take the five minutes to make my bed every day.

My vision board reminds me daily, that I aim to accomplish much with my time on Earth, and that I must sacrifice five minutes of daydreaming to make my bed, another five to sweep the floor, and so on and so forth. I aim to give God the credit for all that I do manage to accomplish, for without Him I am nothing. I would still be lost in the dark unaware of my worth. It is only because of Gods love that I am able to carry out these missions of mine. If not for the love of Christ, I would still be flailing in the dark wondering “why me?” all day long. And so, He gets a section at the top of the board. In the center is the dream home I picture, and around it I divided the board as if suns rays were the dividers. I placed each dream and goal in a strategic area of the board, and allowed for one section to overlap another. I placed fitting scripture in each section of the board, so that I will remember to give God the credit and to choose a positive attitude on the hardest days. One of the goals that I have committed to, is trying to write more every day. God gave me a gift of words, and an understanding of the recipe for unwavering love and contentment. It would be such a shame to waste those gifts just because I have poor time management skills. My vision board was a commitment to better manage my time and to stay on one of the many tasks at hand in the most balanced way I could find, while giving God the credit for rescuing me from the dark, and leading me in light.

And so, I recognize that I have made a half-hearted attempt to maintain this blog. That I have kept it to myself out of, well, if I am honest, a lack of self esteem and a fear of judgement. Many years have passed since I first started this blog, and many changes have come to pass. I have finally decided that it is time to focus on my words, and that over the next few weeks and months I will strive to be more diligent about the message of love that I am supposed to be spreading. I have gotten a grip on the ‘burdens’ that were overwhelming me, and it is time to move this blog to a front burner. It is time for me to start prioritizing the message of love and joy. I will make better attempts to be here consistently and to create a daily writing routine. Our world needs less hate, and a lot more love, and this is one thing I can do about that. I am determined. I will do my best to be consistently here. Candid and honest. I want more from my life. I am not a financially motivated person. I am motivated by love. Specifically, Gods great love. I am motivated by helping others to find and understand Gods great love, and my first priority and goal here, is to spread it to anyone who wants to hear it. I look forward to finally prioritizing this part of my journey, I can’t wait to see where it takes us! And while this crazy wind has prevented me from spending that hour I planned for garden prep, it opened up an hour for me to be here. There is a blessing in EVERY cloud. See you soon, my friends. God bless.

Love

Hello my friends! I hope today’s post finds you well! I have this itch. It has been so long since I have written. Since my injury, typing is a challenge that I am learning to overcome. Today, I peck at the keys, not caring one bit about the icy hot burn in my hand as I get this message out. The desire to write is overwhelming as I ache to reach the world with this message about abounding love. I keep hearing that there is not enough love in the world today, but I know that that is false. There is more abounding love in this world than we can even wrap our brains around as humans. It is huge, golden, and encompasses the world in more abundance that we can imagine. What there is a lack of is kindness, trust, and willingness to open our arms to love. We as humans are refusing to choose love. Refusing to accept it. It is up to us to receive it. If our hearts are closed to it, then it cannot enter us. It bounces off of us and goes unrequited in this world! We absolutely must be willing to receive the love that is coming towards us! Love is abundant. Contagious! We must spread the virus! We must share it and receive it in order to perpetuate it. People! Come on! You are beautiful! See it! Then, once you see it, share it! Accept it! Receive it! Love is yours for the taking. Your life will change so drastically when you finally choose to see the love. The abundance. The beauty. When you focus on giving and receiving love, it becomes so overwhelmingly abundant around you that you cannot contain it and you want to shout it from the rooftops, as I am today!

When you go to your grave, it will not matter how many acts of service you have done. It will not matter how much money you put into the pot in tithe. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. We are all here for different purposes, some tithe money, others tithe time, but the one thing that we all need to do is show gladness! Joy! What is the state of your heart? Are you tithing and providing acts of service because you love God? Because you know Gods love and want everyone to know the joy? Or are you tithing with a bitter heart because you would rather spend that money elsewhere. God forgives us easily when we fail, it is ours for the asking, but what was your hearts intention? That question WILL matter. How much love did you reciprocate in the world? How much forgiveness and Jesus like grace did you try to emanate. Did you accept everyone for who they are? Or did you choose which ones to love and which to condemn? It is Gods place to judge and save. We are not here to save people. We are here to show Gods love. Very simply! To let a lady in line in front of you, to give a broken hearted little girl words of encouragement, to empathize with the broken. God chooses the broken, the weary, to favor. Love them, do NOT judge them.

When you meet your maker, it will not matter how big your house was, how nice your car was. You cannot take any of that with you and it will not bring you joy. Only the love of God can bring that fearless, joyful, contagious love, and sustain it. Its huge, its monstrous, and it breaks my heart that so few are willing to receive it! All you have to do is try. Try to start seeing your challenges as the blessings they will turn out to be in the end. Try seeing a long line as an opportunity to let someone who is elderly or ill jump in line in front of you. Just watch her gratitude. Turn around and see the face of the person who just witnessed your random act of kindness. One simple act can make four people face the day with a more loving perspective! You can do it! Receive the love! Spread the love! Share Gods joy! Ask God every day when you wake up, to flood you with love and peace. Every time you leave your house, ask him for an opportunity to share love, to give random joy out by the armfuls. Ask Him to give you an opportunity to share his love and blessing. Look at your life! It is beautiful. What do you love? Do you have beautiful children? A roof over your head? Food in your mouth? Pleasant weather? A job? Those are all gifts given to us from Gods love! Be thankful for them, joyful for them, and share them! Is there a beautiful bird in your tree? Is the scent of fall on the breeze? What has God blessed you with today? It has occurred to me that every challenge is a blessing in disguise. That with each struggle, we find a solution, we grow, we learn to appreciate, we become more beautiful human beings as our patience grows with them. It occurs to me that every single challenge we face is an opportunity for God to bless us abundantly. How boring would life be without challenge? How spoiled and demanding we would all be! How selfish we would be! What need would we have for God? A world with no challenge, to me, appears to be a world with no love, and no reason to hope, and that is not appealing to me. I challenge you to see your burdens as an opportunity for God to bless you. I challenge you to see them as a reason to be thankful and full of love for a God who provides tools to teach us how to be awesome. I challenge you, to go out into your world today, and show a ridiculous amount of love to one stranger who needs it. Let her in line, pay for his burger, offer to carry a bag. It is in you. Your life is NOT so busy and awful that you cannot find one shred of love to share with a stranger. Share what you can, its enough to make a difference, and do it simply out of love. Be determined to be a major player in the circle of love, and spread it. Spread the joy. Spread the love, and watch it unfold back on you one thousandfold. God is Love. Jesus is love. Grace is the gift that they have bestowed upon us! Accept it! Share the love like your life depends on it, and you will find that all along, it was the one thing your life depended on most!